Sunday, 21 June 2015

Hello ...

Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, 
mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, 
if no shadows fell over a life?

Ann Voskamp

Hello again!

Thank you for the kind and encouraging notes here and else where - They've made me happy and brought sunshine to the cloudy days! 
I am doing much better now, the last 10 days have been without any greater trouble in the neck ... I feel light and "at home" in my body again - being grateful and relieved.

The past few weeks has been though a bit of an ambivalent mixture of:

- Moments with physical pain in the neck and head - and moments with absence of pain with deep relaxation and wonderful feeling of lightness in the body

- The feeling of time standing still yet hoping I could press a "fast forward" button in order to skip the next hour, as the tension and cramps in the muscles was about to start - and a wish to press a "pause" button when feeling the beautiful relaxation and bliss of easiness and well-being in the body

- Trust and hope that the treatments are working so I would "get my normal body and everyday life" back soon - and a fear and uncertainty in "what if" it is going to take a couple of months, or not going to happen at all

- The X-rays showed that there is osteoarthritis in the damaged vertebras in my neck - meaning that there are some "narrow" places where the nerve threads may be squeezed at times, causing the cramps and the pain. 
So I am learning to adjust some things - To start with, saying farewell to the zumba and the step at the gym, replacing them with pilates, walks and swimming.

Courage does not always roar. 
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 
I will try again tomorrow.

At the moment I am learning and adjusting to find out a well balanced ways, readjusting some routines  and keeping the things, that still work fine ... Via trial and error, and careful planning:

I have experienced uncertainty if I can make it through the planned appointments ... Should I cancel some of them ... Can I manage to get home to lie down, if the cramps are about to start?

Yet, I have been able to experience God's faithfulness, peace and sustainment each moment, each day ... Having stepped out of the door, praying for His strength, even when still feeling the faint cramps in my neck... 
It has been well enough for my body & soul.

I have been looking myself in the mirror, wishing to switch my neck to a better one ... (I still do) ... Yet this neck is a part of me - It has carried my head through all the years, It has been the resting place for our boys as they leaned on my shoulder, hiding their faces when seeking comfort - or bursting with joy ... and the feeling of my husband softly kissing my neck...

The following poem speaks to me in a new way now:

The time will come 
when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other's welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life. 

Derek Walcott

It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth 
until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.
John Joseph Powell

The value of the mirrors of love and acceptance - in the eyes of my family, friends, colleges and the church fellowship - cannot be measured ... 

Today a friend laid her hand on my shoulder at the end of the service and asked, if she could pray for me, and we prayed together, experiencing the all surpassing peace of God. I was reminded of the words of Jesus in the Gospel of John: I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance. (John 10:10 AMP).

Our circumstances change, yet there is so much to be grateful for. 

I'd love the share with you the short cheerful video on The Absence of Unhappiness - Revealing the pearls in our everyday life, that make it unique and wonderful:

The Absence of Unhappiness from Rachel Sutherland on Vimeo.

... Until next time,

Photos: iPhone 5S, Camera+, Snapseed, Mextures, VSCO, Over & Polamatic Apps


  1. Nina, so wonderful to hear from you and that you are experiencing some healing in your life. No doubt there are lifestyle adjustments to be made. I feel that you are a well rounded and confident person, ready to take on those changes. Blessing to you for the week ahead!

  2. Oh goodness, I have been absent lately and I had no idea you were battling this. Neck pain is horrible and I am sorry to hear that your experiencing it. Yet, I am sure our Lord has his hand upon you daily. Hearing each prayer. Thank you for sharing and I will pray His peace and healing for you. xx

  3. Ah, Nina,
    Just this very day I was in the process of sitting down to write you a note then got distracted. You had said you would be away from blogging for a few weeks. Since a few weeks had passed, I was thought I would drop you a note. And then, there you were!
    I am so happy to hear that you are improving. My spine is a mess and the nerves get compressed -sometimes for no apparent reason. I say this to let you know of my deep empathy for your pain and the adjustments in your life you have to make. But, Pilates is quite nice :)
    I am feeling much better. I really thought at one point the infection might overwhelm my body and I might die. But Here I am. And through this experience the Lord has given me insights that I have missed seeing for my entire life. Pretty cool, huh? And I lost 10 pounds to boot! LOL!
    Anyway, Josephine and I send love all the way across the ocean to you and prayers for your health and happiness!

  4. Nina, this is a difficult walk yet you are facing it with courage and a grateful heart. This life is so unpredictable. Trust you will have ongoing improvement and many, many good days.

  5. My dear, sweet Nina, I am so sorry to have missed all of this! I feel absolutely terrible that I did not know you were facing such difficulties....forgive me, my friend.

    You are simply beautiful and like Karen said, you are facing this trial with courage and a grateful heart - you are so inspiring, dear one! Praise the Lord that you are improving and please know that you will be in my prayers!

    Love and hugs to you!

  6. Changes as we age can be frustrating. So sorry that you are facing difficulties but can totally understand how you feel. Hang on to that TRUST AND GRATITUDE. Blessings and hope you are getting better

  7. Oh somehow I missed your post you were taking a break that I see you posted earlier. I always enjoy your blog, and I was wondering that I hadn't seen any so today thought I'd check on your blog. So sorry to hear you're in pain. Prayers that it gets much better soon. So lovely the Derek Walcott poem and your pictures. ~gentle hugs~

  8. Such a beautiful post, Nina. And gorgeous photos too.
    I admire your courage and a grateful heart.
    So glad to read you’re doing much better now :)
    A big hug!

  9. Nina, I am sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. I hope things will get better. Take care.

  10. I love not just these words but the photos as well. It's really refreshing to the soul to read another person's sharing.
    It makes the world know we're not alone in our journey.

    I hope you're okay by now.


Thank you so much for taking time to leave a comment! I read and enjoy them all and I'll do my best to to hop on over to your blog for a visit.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...